Dive in, Jump off, Slide down, or Climb up

So, I have been wanting to share my heart lately but, not really sure how to go about doing it.  Since Monday was my last day with school stuff I now find that I have time to reflect.  I am going to skip a lot since the last time I wrote was in December.  This year has been needless to say a roller coaster ride.  I found out I got my teaching job just two weeks before school.  This leads to some mad packing and unpacking! There were times as I was living by myself that I found the empty silence of my apartment hard to handle.  Sometimes the extreme of crazy at school to absolutely nothing at home just throws me off.  I have know the whole time that God had a great purpose in moving me.  I think God prepared me well for my move.  My heart was fully ready to serve him one hundred percent.  I struggled with being away from my friends and family that I love so deeply.  God taught me a lot about his love for me this year and in turn is allowing me to see that loving someone doesn't always look the same.  I came to adore my 21 (yup got a new one 7 days before school was out!) precious children.  They all mean so much to me! This year God taught me a valuable lesson about people.  We have all heard we need to pay it forward because we don't know what people are going through......well I had a chance to experience this head on.  I try to daily put on my God Vision Goggles on so that  I can see people how God does.  I am getting to the point promise ;) So Friday when I was saying goodbye to my kiddos I found out some very upsetting news about one of my students.  This little guy had a super special place in my heart.  Short version.....Another teacher and I had to go to the court house and talk to some people and report some things.  The not fun side of teaching.  I heard it all.....it's pointless.  Sadly nothing will happen.  There is no point.  You are going up a empty creek.  I knew that God had placed me here at Greenfield, in the third grade, with this student for a reason.  Maybe it was just to make a very important phone call.  Maybe it was to spend hours and hours praying and crying out to God.  I can't tell for sure but, I can tell you I was broken.  I am broken.  I have never felt pain and sorrow like that before.  I love this child.  I now experienced not even a little of the pain God probably felt when he sent his only son to die for us!  I wish I could say that my sweet little boy has a happy ending but, his story is still being written.  I can tell you that I pray for him everyday! God promises to take care of his children.  I saw this first hand when I went to Peru and am continuing to see this.  There are kids at my school that have to deal with so much more then I can even begin to understand.  God has given me his compassion and grace.  I am blessed to be where I am so that I can share God's light to them and give them a small piece of God's great love.  I know not everyone I love in life fully supports my decision to be here.  It's hard for me to take but, I am constantly reminded that I am not here to please them.  I am here to please God and only him.  God has taught me a lot about selfless love this year.  I am blessed with a very special someone in my life who was so openly trusted and had great compassion when I was so upset about my little guy!  I literally would pray that I could take him into my home.  I began to plot how to make this happen.  I pleaded with God.  If not me God, someone! He needs to get out of there.  It is still all a work in progress! I learned more about reckless faith.  Sometimes God calls us to do things that don't make sense to the world.  He call us to step outside our comfort zone.  He calls us to follow not knowing the outcome.  I didn't know what to do.  I wanted a simple answer.  I wanted to just go pick him up.  Point is....God brought me to the point where I didn't have time to think about what I was doing or the decisions I was going to make.  The whole time God just kept telling me to trust him and follow.  Not to say I wanted a nine year old boy.....but God calls us to be willing!  I didn't know what to expect but I dived in.  No I can not say he is staying with me even though I badly wanted that!  It doesn't have to be me but, I wanted someone to step up.  This is not my time but God is definitely working on my heart!  I believe he is preparing me.  I have to know how to pray for them! I have to know how to trust God and those in my life who I depend so greatly on for encouragement that God has placed in my life for a specific reason.  It's all about following God whole heatedly!  Get ready to dive in, jump off, or slide down, climb up where ever and whatever God wants!