Putting Your Words into Action

So I have been wanting to write several times but, I always seem to find myself doing something else instead. I like to keep journals and look back on them every so often to reflect on life. Yes, sometimes I tend to over think things. I recently read over the last entry I left on here about trust. So now I want to share how it became very clear to me how my God is a very intricate and patient. So back in Feb. God was teaching me how to really trust him. As that time went on (Feb.-Aug.) I got frustrated with my job search and just where I was in life. I felt like I was not doing anything with the time God gave me. I know now that he gave me that time in my life...what I like to call my waiting period....to prepare my heart and mind for what was to come. As many of you know in August I received a third grade teaching job in Greenfield, Missouri. After my interview I had great peace that this was where God wanted me. I was full of mixed emotions but, I felt like God was always telling me to trust him and that he had a plan. I can see now that God was teaching me all about trust because he knew that I would need that. I took a giant leap of faith that day I said yes to the job. I had two weeks to move, find a place to live, and get my classroom set up when I had no clue what I was doing. I definitely see how God worked in the unknown. I was so scarred but even in that scarred feeling I was wrapped in God's peace. I had no clue what God was doing. There was days I cried because the unknown is just so overwhelming. God continued to give me a small whisper in my ear saying you need to trust me. I have a plan. Trusting became way more then words to me. I had to fully rely on him to provide me with everything I needed. I was blessed with loving people in my life who never let me forget that God was in charge. He used them to provide things for me not only to meet my needs but also emotionally. Going to a new city living on my own was a major step for me. I am still not sure I fully understand Gods plan and I think that is ok. I don't think he always wants us to know everything. He reviles things as they are needed. A very frustrating concept for me to figure out. Those of you that know me know that I am a major planner and don't like the unknown. So needless to say I go crazy when I can not be in control and when I just don't know. I have lots of time living on my own to reflect on what God is doing around me and with me. Sometimes the day gets busy and things get doing and you don't really think about what is the purpose in God giving me this day. How did I use it to serve him? This move has really just made my faith stronger. We go through trials in life to train us and make us stronger to serve the Lord. After all that is what it is all about anyway. I have been learning over the past month all about what denying my own pride and selfish ways. I have a tendency to think that I can do everything on my own. I will ask for help if I really really need it but, that tends to be after I make it worse by trying to do it on my own. I read in the book, Weird. There is a chapter that is all about our intentions in life. In life I live for myself having good intentions and that is how I justify things. I start off with a good thought, but there is a difference. Good intentions are really masking my own selfish ambitions. I have been working on how to move from good intentions in life to God intentions for my life. What does he want me to do with every second of my time and things that he has blessed me with. How am I praying for that to happen in my life? I am here to serve him and build His kingdom. What am I doing if I just live for the world and my life? The past oh six months of my life I feel like God has been tearing down walls that I have built up inside of me. Some of them I have been unaware that they even existed. I had good intentions but, you just can't go through life with only good intentions. This weekend I was blessed with the opportunity to go camping and just spend some time with people I am blessed to have in my life and in God's beautiful creation. When I look around and see the work of his hands...the stars that stretch on forever and ever and the beautiful flowers that are each made differently with such magnificent color and detail, how could I be so wrapped up in my own life. Humbling. So now I can see that God is faithful when we trust. He has never left my side even when I tried pushing him away. When I told him I could do it on my own. He was ever so patient with my stubborn attitude. As I continue to learn what it means to live out a life of faith fulling trusting my God, I am learning that control really is not important. That is just my own selfish ambitions that start with good intentions. Titus 1:9, "He must hold firmly to the trustworthy message as it has been taught, so that he can encourage others by sound doctrine and refute those who oppose it." I am daily reminded by by my gentle savior that we are fighting a battle where he is victorious. Am I doing my part in the battle to encourage and lift up those around me? Am I using the gifts God gives me and the things he has blessed me with? It is a daily struggle to make my intentions God's and not my own. Ok that was a super long post. I just had all these thoughts bouncing around in my head that I wanted to share what God has placed on my heart. Prayers that I continue to seek God's wisdom on a daily basis on how to invest in his people and use the gifts and seek the purpose he has given me.